Love, Crushes, Feelings, Romance..It's All Good
It’s amazing, isn’t it? You could stare blankly into space then immediately break into a coy smile just thinking about someone. Perhaps you’re reminiscing about the last time you were together...what they said..what they did that continues to linger. Ahhhh.. It's love or is it a crush, or feelings or maybe just lust? Either way it's the kind of thing that makes you stay up past your bedtime discussing sweet nothings this one person. Out of the billions of people that are on this earth, this is the voice that soothes you and makes you feel so good you never want hang up the phone. “Hang up first”..”No, you hang up first,” you tag each other flirtatiously ;-) And no matter the distance between the two of you, the intensity of your romance could easily burn a hole through your phone lines. And you know what? You wouldn't care if the phones burned down.
If most of us are to be honest, we would confess to the fact that we’ve read that one text over and over and over. And why not - it gives you butterflies in the stomach, makes you feel so damn good inside you could burst...or burst a move even. Every time you read it the goosebumps come out..and that coy smile sneaks out again. As the kids are saying nowadays it ‘gives you life’
Sometimes, when you’re going through tough times, you may not even need therapy - you just need to love. Love is wonderful and powerful. It’s capable of helping you climb out of emotional black holes. It can give you hope during those moments of hopelessness. It can motivate you, inspire you and breathe brand new life into you. One of my favorite songs of all time is Percy Sledge’s “When A Man Loves A Woman.” What an accurate depiction of how all-engulfing love is and how it can make us feel!
I remember this one time in college. I dated a boy who then left Kenya for the United States. Our feelings for each other were so powerful we managed to keep the fire burning for 3 years through snail-mail & international calling. And whenever I missed him terribly I’d wear that polo shirt he left behind for me. Its scent reminded me of the late nights we spent watching as the the horizon swallowed the moon. As soon as I graduated it was time to make plans to come to the United States and see him. Imagine the emotions had built up during our three years of separation. Have you ever anticipated seeing someone you miss so bad it hurts? Emotions can overwhelm you. You can hardly sleep on the days leading up to that first hug. What will you say? The prospect of touching then again. Smelling them. Kissing them. An image of your reaction when you finally hug them replays in your mind like a broken record. Or broken movie.
Do you have someone who makes you feel this way? You should. Even though that relationship has since ended, I never forgot how I felt.
Last year Taylor Swift sang about this kind of love where the rest of the world is black and white and the two of you are in screaming color.
It's important to remember that this kind of fervent, bubbly, passionate love should not be restricted to only those who are dating. You should continue to seek and thirst for it even after you’ve been married for a while. Again, if we quote our millennials, we will say here that the “thirst should be real.” If you haven’t felt this way about your husband or wife in a while, you need to remedy it. You’re missing out on too much happiness. Recharge and renew. Date your spouse. You might find yourself skipping to your loo and exuberant with teenage vigor. “Mhh...why are you glowing?” Your friends will ask.
What is the sweetest thing a lover ever did for you? I’ll go first. A boy once tucked my hair behind my ear, held me face in both his hands and kissed me tenderly. Honestly, I nearly fainted. Just thinking about how much he was focused on only me at that moment brought those good alarms out and when I finally came up for air I was covered in goosebumps. You know why? As Rihanna would say, he made me feel like I was the only girl in the world. Girls..we like that. Forget silver and gold - just make us feel like we’re the only girl that matter to you.
Are you sitting on the edge of your chair waiting for your crush to post something on their social media account? Ain’t that a good feeling? And when they finally do all is well in your world again. I encourage it. Find you a crush if not a lover. Gives more meaning to life and a reason to wake up every day.
Sure love may have left you brokenhearted and love-shy before, maybe thrown you a curve ball and left you wondering, as the iconic Whitney Houston once asked “where do broken hearts go?” . But don’t give up on it. Broken hearts can find their way home. Give it another chance. Be a love bug. Let the feelings attack you intensely. Nothing wrong with that. If it hurts it hurts so bad. Withdrawal is tough and recovery might involve long nights spent curled up in a fetal position. Or the quintessential pint-of-ice-cream and box-of-kleenex recovery. You may even have to turn off the radio when THAT song that reminds you of them comes on, but you know what? You’ll have lived. Your heart will have lived. And that makes it all worth it. That's the case for love.