Growth is a wonderful thing, isn’t it? Of course, depending on what area of your life experiences this growth, some of the people around you may not appreciate it. Perhaps you’ve begun to come across as more confident, more assertive or you’re shining a little too brightly than before. They don’t like that. “You’ve changed,” they will say rather disapprovingly.
But isn’t that the purpose of life? Once you have been through some unique experiences, trials and triumphs, the idea is to make it out on the other side a changed person, an improved version of yourself but with the same essence.
How could you not? You’ve navigated through intricate scenarios that could never have been simulated in a classroom setting, interacted with a wider range of personalities and been confronted with such complex situations that neither teachers nor professors could have taught you the solutions to. You've had to learn things on your own and grow.Here are a few signs that wisdom is upon you and it’s not that you're not crazy, you're just maturing in the right direction and here are some signs
1.You’re able to get rid of toxic people from your life and be at peace with the decision. The High School days of complicated friendships are behind you now, and you should no longer feel the need to keep people who threaten your peace of mind, your self-worth and those who do not respect you just so you can have friends. As you mature, it should becomes easier to wash your hands and walk away from these types of negative, draining and overwhelming people. Friendships that can be fixed should be salvaged. Those that force you to endure friendship abuse should be severed.
2.You’re proactive about your finances: Burying the proverbial head in the sand regarding your finances is just plain infantile. A mature person does not feel intimidated by the idea of confronting their financial status. Instead, they face them head on. If you’ve previously cruised blissfully in ignorance you should make plans to change that. Review your credit score as well as the state of your budget often. Make tough decisions. If you need to disconnect your Cable services for a while, for example, then do. Shop around for cheaper options. These are all things that are famously called “adulting” in Social Media. Get yourself together. If your hair or sneaker collection is on fleek then your finances should be, too. Be responsible and proactive - pay your creditors, refinance loans and stay on top of everything which will in turn make you feel that you’re in control.
3.You take constructive criticism gracefully. As a former Manager of people, I was trained on how best to deliver well-intended criticism to employees. “Sandwich it between two of the employee's strengths”, they said. But even so, I can tell you that only confident, mature and secure people were able to receive this type of feedback gracefully. The less mature people’s initial reaction is to feel defensive, attacked, or even misunderstood. Some end up expressing all of this through an outburst or in a manner that suggests that they might be a cast member of one of the Real Housewives of this and that County. Do not take constructive criticism personally. if you need to disagree or refute it, take sometimes and think it over, then come back with a mature reaction.
4.You stay humble about your blessings: In this age of Social Media interactions and sharing people have adopted the mentality that if you’re blessed you must flaunt it. Some believe it’s okay to brag endlessly about each and every one of their blessings as long as the tag the post as “Feeling blessed” or end the sentence by thanking God to make it appear less egotistical or boastful. We have become victims of what is famously known as the #HumbleBrag. But isn’t humility such a mature and admirable quality to have, though? Have you ever met someone who’s got everything going for them yet no-one other than their tight circle knows about it because it’s not being broadcasted repeatedly? Don’t you just admire them? Mature people have that quiet confidence about themselves. They know that they do not need to prove anything to anyone which is what most of us are seeking when we #humblebrag.
5. You’ve replace envy with admiration. Let’s face it if someone else is making strides in their life while you seem to be mark-timing in the same spot your immediate reaction might be envy and jealousy. If you overcome this feeling and instead find a way to applaud the person, wish them continued success and even find them inspiring then you’ve experienced personal growth and maturity. Everyone is on a different path and someone else’s path or destination may not be yours so let them cruise on their lane even while you’re still looking for yours because you’re mature and you know better.
6. You can ask for help without feeling guilty. Independence is often promoted as an admirable characteristic. Eventually you come to the realization that we are meant to be interdependent. In my opinion, asking for help when needed is one of the most mature things a human being can do. A lot of us feel prideful and fear judgement when it comes to this, you want to appear like “you’ve got it”. Men would famously rather end up in another Country’s border than ask for directions. Mothers feel guilty about approaching someone to help them with their kids. Friends and relatives might feel guilty about asking for financial assistance. I read somewhere that people generally feel very happy and valued when you come to them for help. So find the courage and maturity to do so.
The process of personal growth and maturity can sometimes get messy and you might even end up burning some bridges when you’re going through it. It is however totally worth it. It involves much more than the list above. Some people have to learn to say no to those who don’t deserve it learn to speak their mind or learn to forgive with the knowledge that it’s all for you.One thing for sure - you will love the person you will evolve to because you’ve endured a lot to build that person. And when you look at that person in the mirror you will love it, because you’re no longer seeking approval from others.